You're Pregnant!
by xeniarunex
Summary: When a man feels like he's pregnant, thinks he's pregnant and has cause to think he's pregnant..except MEN CAN'T GET PREGNANT! -totally AU-


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, but this story is mine. ^^

This is my first Naruto crack fic. So, don't expect too much from it. Enjoy =)

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><p>FLUSH!<p>

"Urgh…"

"Honey, are you okay?" A sweet voice called out from his behind. His wife, Hinata, was watching him from the bathroom door. Her concerned eyes flickered towards the toilet bowl and back to her husband's face.

"I'm fine."

Raven hair swiped away hastily from his handsome face, Sasuke washed the unpleasant feel of vomit from his mouth and face. It had been a little over a month since he started vomiting, and he was getting tired of running towards the toilet bowl every morning. Honestly, Hinata was the pregnant one but she didn't get any nausea at all. If he hadn't been sure that he was a male and male definitely couldn't get pregnant, he would be pretty sure he would start thinking he is pregnant.

"Maybe you should go and see a doctor. I'll call Naruto and ask if he can go with you."

Hinata, as a heiress to the Hyuuga company, was going to a meeting in an hour. However, it was unlikely for THE Uchiha Sasuke would ever go the clinic by himself, unless someone accompanied him to keep him from escaping. Naruto, his loudmouth best friend, was almost always the second option after Hinata. ("If I have to go to a place I don't like, I'm going with someone I can at least tolerate," were Sasuke's exact words.)

x-x-x-x-x

"Let me get this straight, you've been vomiting ever since you found out Hinata's pregnant? And Hinata doesn't even get nausea over half the things _you_ nauseated off? That's...that's..."

And the blonde-haired man started to laugh out loud. Great, now his own best friend thought his situation was funny. Naruto and he had a long history from way back to their grade school. He was a genius Uchiha and Naruto was a troublemaker. It had been a rough friendship but they had been through a lot since their first meeting. However, due to their long friendship, there had been no others that they trust more than each other. They were very close until there was even a time where people actually thought they were dating each other (Though the rumors were quickly crushed when Naruto started fooling around and Sasuke found Hinata)

"Oi, you don't think that you might be preggers too, do you?"

"W-what? I'm a man, dobe! Men CANNOT get pregnant"

"Well, you can't remember anything from _that_ night, and you might be an undiscovered hermaphrodite. They can, you know, get pregnant..." Naruto stated as he grinned mischievously knowing Sasuke would be unsettled at the reminder.

Sasuke, sensing where the conversation was going, immediately responded, "Why are we even talking about this? You're just here to see me to the clinic." As he turned towards the road, he muttered, "Not that I need you to come with me."

"Sure, Sasuke. I'm just here on your wife's request."

Flustered, Sasuke left the sniggering Naruto behind. The night that Naruto mentioned was something that he would rather forget than remember. They were celebrating Naruto's promotion that night, which was incidentally the day he knew he was going to be a father. They went out to the bar with the gang and started to drink till they drop. Sasuke, being a light drinker, lost count after the tenth glass. The next morning proceeded to be one of the Top Ten Most Embarrassing Moment that he would kill anyone who ever dared to mention it.

He woke up on an unfamiliar bed with a very familiar blond head next to him. Naked.

If that wasn't enough, he was feeling sore all over his body and he couldn't remember what had happened to cause them.

Naruto, being the infuriating being he was, just said "We woke up on the same bed, what do you think happened?" when he asked him and laughed away without actually telling him about the night. He was sure Naruto knew what happened, that usuratonkachi could drink till morning and he would only be a little tipsy.

Now, a month and a half later, he still couldn't get the true event from the blond. Despite not wanting to know what had really transpired that night, it irked him when Naruto kept implying how he had betrayed Hinata's love that night. He was positive he wouldn't look at other women like his wife, simply because none of them will ever be as attractive as Hinata with her long black flowing hair and soft milky eyes. The only other explanation was simply too gross to even imagine as that would involve he and Naruto actually doing _it_.

He really did not want to think about that possibility.

x-x-x-x-x

The doctor was oddly similar to his looks, Sasuke thought. Short black hair, dark eyes with a monotonous way of speaking, Sasuke would have thought he had a lost twin if he didn't see the irritating fake smile that the doctor had. While Sasuke was busy staring at the doctor, he didn't realize that Naruto was telling the doctor about his condition. That and the fact that he was already nervous to begin with made him miss the whole conversation until the doctor began to speak to him.

"Congratulations, you're pregnant."

"WHAT?" –_crash_!- Poor chair, Sasuke was too shocked to care about it.

"You must be very happy." There, the fake smile was now directed to Naruto, who Sasuke saw was trying hard to hide his laughter.

"B-But…I'M A MAN! MEN CANNOT GET PREGNANT!"

"Ah, yes, I know that, but you seem to be a special case of hermaphrodite that CAN get pregnant. Of course, you would have to have sex first before you get pregnant."

"I, I-Nev-No way_—" _

'_WE DID NOT HAVE SEX THAT NIGHT! NO WAY!'_

'…_but he never denied it,' whispered a second mind who Sasuke never realized was there._

'_HE NEVER SAID IT EITHER.'_

'…_but you were sore the morning after.'_

'_THAT DIDN'T MEAN WE DID IT.' _

'…_you're just in denial, look at the bright side, you're going to have two kids at a time, one from Hinata, one from you.'_

'_I AM NOT PREGNANT!' _

'…_the doctor said you are.'_

'_I'M NOT PREGNANT-I'M NOT PREG—'_

THUD!

And the mentally harassed Sasuke joined the chair on the pristine white floor.

Naruto, along with the doctor, took a long look at Sasuke. Then, with a mirror grin, they burst into laughter.

Sasuke -0, Naruto and the Doctor-1

x-x-x-x-x

Sasuke woke up half an hour later in the clinic and found out that the Doctor was an acquaintance of Naruto during Sasuke's three years of studying abroad. The Doctor, whose name was Sai, later told him that he was having sympathy symptoms. He was feeling pity towards his pregnant wife, a condition that some expecting fathers usually suffered. Unfortunately, it is a psychological situation that cannot be cured by medicine. Hence, Sai could only give prescriptions for the nausea.

Hinata, who just returned from her meeting, couldn't hide her giggles when Sasuke recalled about his trip to the clinic. It was a relief to know Sasuke was fine. His condition had been worrying her for a while. Now, knowing the cause made her heart swelled with love despite the pain her husband endured.

HInata was a clever woman. She had a suspicion about Sasuke's sickness, but just not in the same line of thought as he did. Contrary to popular belief, she knew something had happened during his drinking bout the night he received the news of her pregnancy. Unlike Sasuke, she knew nothing actually happened between Naruto and her husband. Naruto already told her about what really happened, so it wasn't a problem to her.

That night, Sasuke was drunk, drunker than he had ever been on his bachelor night, and he tried to imitate belly dancing after a drunken dare was made against him, saying that 'an Uchiha can do anything'. Shamefully, most drunkards couldn't actually keep their body coordination, unless your name was Lee. Sasuke ended up knocking every tables and chairs in the bar until he and Naruto was thrown out of the bar.

Naruto, who was a bit tipsy and too tired after trying to keep Sasuke from hitting the others, rented the only room available in the nearest hotel. He dragged Sasuke up the stairs to the room, only to discover that 'the only room available' is the room with a single queen-sized bed and a broken air-conditioner. He then proceeded to undress Sasuke and himself, thinking there was no harm in helping his friend from being cooped up in his clothes during the hot summer night. When the next morning came, he planned to tell Sasuke about the dare, but he changed his mind since Sasuke seemed to make a different conclusion from their sleeping arrangement. In fact, it was so much fun seeing Sasuke like that, he ended up encouraging his thought just to see Sasuke's reaction. Truthfully, nothing really happened that night.

Hinata loved Sasuke, but seeing the typically aloof Uchiha got so flustered over a misunderstanding was such a rare sight. There was even a bet made to see how long the said Uchiha would take to figure out the real situation. Right now, Hinata decided that maybe she could make a bet too since Sasuke seemed to be clueless at the moment. The soon-to-be mother smiled gently, musing how adorable her husband could be. "I hope you'll be as cute as your father," Hinata thought as she rubbed her bulging stomach lovingly.

Afterwards, Hinata proceeded to make dinner for her family of two.

-Owari-

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><p>AN: The idea came when I stumbled upon an article about sympathy symptoms. I wrote the first part of the story last year, but I just recently completed it after my friend found out about it. She wanted to read it, so I finally finished this story. Hope you like it.

-_xeniarunex_-

-Beta-ed by _Wanderlust no Tsubasa_-


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